THE VICE GUIDE TO BEING A WHORE
OK, let’s cut the shit here. Working in the “sex industry” fucking blows. Suicide Girls get to have hairy armpits, and it’s fun to put your picture up on onlyundiesclub.com, but that’s playacting. Real sex work is about showing up at a millionaire crackhead’s house with a big box of Wet Ones, letting him bang the shit out of you for three days (even though he pulled a gun on you for sitting on the left-hand side of his bed), and then leaving with $1,900. No matter what the empowered academics in San Francisco pretend to believe, whoring – in any form – is hell, and the only reason women do it is to get money for coke NOW! If you want to try it out, be prepared to have nothing to show for years of suffering but a blown-out septum and some lumpy fake tits. It’s like extreme waitressing. You make hundreds of dollars a night licking ass and then you immediately spend it on drugs just to feel normal again.
If you’re really, truly still interested, please at least do us a kindness and read this A–Z before your first day on the job.
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