You probably heard about those two British tourists who got kicked out of America for tweeting some shitty jokes.
The astonishingly named Leigh Van Bryan tweeted: “Free this week, for quick gossip/prep before I go and destroy America”. Then he said he planned to “dig up Marilyn Monroe”. Which is apparently a line from Family Guy. It’s a joke or something. I dunno, ask Seth MacFarlane.
It’s all a bit like that guy who got convicted for threatening to blow up an airport. Except, stupid as that conviction is, he did actually threaten to blow up an airport and you can see why that would freak out security guys. Even if you took Leigh Van Bryan TOTALLY LITERALLY, he threatened to ‘destroy America’. To me, he doesn’t look equipped to pull that off. He looks like he’s in The Feeling.
Anyway. I was panicked by these online threats to our freedom and decided to check Twitter to see if there were any criminals that the authorities needed to be aware of before it was too late. It turns out there are loads of people out there waiting to do real harm to America. I assume I’ll get a medal for turning them in.
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