I WAS TESTED FOR DEMONIC POSSESSION
There is a very real chance that I am not currently possessed by a demon. That said, maybe I am. Demonic possessions are a lot like high blood pressure or AIDS – you don’t know your status until you get tested. These types of tests are always nerve-racking, but uncertainty is even worse, so I decided to take Bob Larson’s Demon Test®. And the best part, is it only cost me $9.95.
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Tempered and withered by his quarter-century-long fight against Satan himself, 86-year-old Don Amorth is ailing. He was recently hospitalised, and his hearing and mobility are impaired. Yet he still has the nerve – or misguidedness, depending on your point of view – to appear on the local newscast days before my visit, declaring that good Catholics shouldn’t read or watch anything related to Harry Potter (which he says leads to Satanism, of course) and must abstain from yoga, because “you think you’re doing it for stretching, but actually it leads to Hinduism.” This is a man who, in his book Memoirs of an Exorcist: My Life at War with Satan, claimed that “the devil himself, speaking through a possessed woman, threatened to disembowel me in my sleep.”
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