MENK, BY JOHN DORAN - DANCE YOURSELF CLEAN On Millennium Eve, we all went out in Newquay in fancy dress. It’s the rules out there. I’ve seen a crowd of thousands turn nasty and start booing a sullen teenager for being the only person not dressed up. Our initial plan to go out as The Village People was abandoned after a massive row. Everyone wanted to be the construction worker. No one wanted to be the leather dude with the moustache. When we decided to go as Slipknot things nearly went awry immediately when I went into a builders merchants and asked for five boiler suits, three rolls of gaffa tape, five balaclava masks, three metres of chain and a box of nine inch nails and the guy had to be dissuaded from calling the police. It was somewhere around 1AM outside the Red Lion pub when the DJ started playing “YMCA”. Almost without thinking, we started dancing along to it in tribute to our original plan, there was pandemonium as people piled out of the pub. I could hear people shouting out, “Get down here now! Slipknot dancing to the Village People.” Read the full article here

MENK, BY JOHN DORAN - DANCE YOURSELF CLEAN

On Millennium Eve, we all went out in Newquay in fancy dress. It’s the rules out there. I’ve seen a crowd of thousands turn nasty and start booing a sullen teenager for being the only person not dressed up. Our initial plan to go out as The Village People was abandoned after a massive row. Everyone wanted to be the construction worker. No one wanted to be the leather dude with the moustache. When we decided to go as Slipknot things nearly went awry immediately when I went into a builders merchants and asked for five boiler suits, three rolls of gaffa tape, five balaclava masks, three metres of chain and a box of nine inch nails and the guy had to be dissuaded from calling the police. It was somewhere around 1AM outside the Red Lion pub when the DJ started playing “YMCA”. Almost without thinking, we started dancing along to it in tribute to our original plan, there was pandemonium as people piled out of the pub. I could hear people shouting out, “Get down here now! Slipknot dancing to the Village People.”

Read the full article here

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HOW TO LOOK LIKE A WANKER AT A PARTY #3 THE DEUCE THROWER The vibe you hope to give off: TBH, I don’t really know what this hand sign means. I guess some kind of allusion to street credibility, and danger? So you’re basically someone who tends to walk down streets that are dangerous. Good for you. The vibe you’re actually giving off: You’re Ke$ha, MySpace.com, and “99 Problems (Clean Version)”. (PS, if any of you guys are actually in a gang or something, please don’t “merk” me.) See more party wankers here

HOW TO LOOK LIKE A WANKER AT A PARTY

#3 THE DEUCE THROWER

The vibe you hope to give off: TBH, I don’t really know what this hand sign means. I guess some kind of allusion to street credibility, and danger? So you’re basically someone who tends to walk down streets that are dangerous. Good for you.

The vibe you’re actually giving off: You’re Ke$ha, MySpace.com, and “99 Problems (Clean Version)”. (PS, if any of you guys are actually in a gang or something, please don’t “merk” me.)

See more party wankers here

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YOUR TOWN IS A PARADISE: ROTTERDAM After establishing that this island is a cloudy, intoxicated little Eden of weapon dogs staring nonplussed at burning buildings, imodest women and subways guarded by homeless jesters, we moved to greener, international pastures. So if you are free to cross borders this weekend, our friend Milan Boonstra highly recommends you visit Rotterdam where it is very likely that you’ll experience first-hand what it feels like to have blood dripping all over your face. See more photos here

YOUR TOWN IS A PARADISE: ROTTERDAM

After establishing that this island is a cloudy, intoxicated little Eden of weapon dogs staring nonplussed at burning buildings, imodest women and subways guarded by homeless jesters, we moved to greener, international pastures.

So if you are free to cross borders this weekend, our friend Milan Boonstra highly recommends you visit Rotterdam where it is very likely that you’ll experience first-hand what it feels like to have blood dripping all over your face.

See more photos here

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