CONSPIRACY NEWS: OSAMA NOT BURIED AT SEA!
I do my best to keep abreast of the latest conspiracy dramas, after all, if I don’t listen to the paranoid voices living in the internet, who will?
Today’s breaking news comes from the acceptable face of conspiracy, WikiLeaks. Remember Osama bin Laden? Of course you do; he was the first domino in that Illuminati spring clean which also claimed Brother Gaddafi and Brother Jong-il. Well, remember when the American troops rather bizarrely claimed that they’d thrown Osama’s body into the sea? No one on the internet believed that at the time, and they’re all still looking for reasons to doubt.
WikiLeaks has just published trillions of boring emails stolen by Anonymous from Stratfor, an American security agency. Some of these are being held up as proof that Osama bin Laden’s corpse wasn’t thrown into the sea, but that it was in fact taken by the CIA to a military base in Dover, Delaware.
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LET’S ALL ARGUE ABOUT JULIAN ASSANGE’S TV SHOW
So: It’s the moral tussle over the media ambitions of the internet rebel that everyone’s talking about – but is it really wise for Julian Assange to turn away from his grubby laptop screen and forge a new career as a “renegade” chat show host on a state-controlled Russian TV channel? Who would his guests be? What would they talk about? Has he even got the charisma to pull it off? I think it’s high-time we heard both sides of this argument.
JULIAN ASSANGE IS A RENEGADE MASTER, A DEFAULT DAMAGER, POWER TO THE PEOPLE, WITH THE ILL BEHAVIOUR
Julian Assange is a hero. He’s a martyr, in fact. A heroic martyr. He likes to talk about himself in the third person. He enjoys hanging out with his friends. He likes movies, books and video games. But the powers that be won’t be happy until he has been put away forever. But screw the powers that be. They can’t have me. These little men in their stuffy offices will never understand what it is to be truly great. With their limited lives, of pushing their pens around – pens! – in the era of the information superhighway! These dinosaurs have never woken up to the fact that the world has changed. That we are now living in a world of cyber-connected netizens, all bowing before the new Mammon: information.
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