THE MOST HILARIOUSLY PARANOID THINGS YOU CAN BUY ON THE NRA WEBSITE

They call this the “Flashbang” because the ladies have to show off the titty-twins before they can make the gun go “Bang!” If the assailant isn’t knocked out by NRA-style stretch marks and bumpy areolas, a bullet will definitely do the trick.

More totally reasonable things you can buy that help you protect yourself (or kill people) here